Blog 106: Selected Ambient Blogs, Vol. II

Good morning again. Well, last night I decided to pull an all-nighter but ended up sleeping for 2 hours just cause I couldn't handle it anymore. Plus everyone I knew on Myspace had gone to bed hours before and, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the internet is damn boring! I mean some people can "surf" the "web" and spend hours doing it, but I for one have never been able to just wander around aimlessly on the information super-duper highway. I have a fistful of sites that I tend to check about every 20 seconds when I am online, other than that there's nothing out there but porn and porn and some news sites. So, yeah, I went to sleep for 2 hours, forced myself out of bed and went to work for 5 hours. Here's where the story makes a detour. I had to work with Keith today. "Who's Keith?" you ask? Keith is the "new guy" at work. He's not really new, he's been there over two months, but he still works like it's his first day on the job. I won't go into all the various and multiplicitous details of my highly technical job, because the sheer volume of data would cave your mind in like a Pabst can on a frat boy's forehead. Ok, I tie knots. Now, I've done some rough math on this; in a day I tie the same know about 500-600 times, depending on the type of moulding we're stacking. Keith has been there 2 months and if he's been there every day for work that means he's tied the same knot anywhere between 20,000 and 24,000 times. At this level a normal worker (and within reason, most primates) could tie the knot in roughly 8 seconds. Everyone else does. I do. Keith ties his knot in about 20 seconds. EVERY TIME. There are two guys per machine tying up, and bundles require 3 knots. Keith ties 2 and I tie one and mark the length on the tally sheet. At his current sped by the time I've tied my know and marked the length he's still got about 30 seconds to go before he's ready to stack the bundle. In this time I lean over the current bundle and start pulling out boards for the next one. I've usually finished that at about the time he's ready to stack. Now, I know this is getting boring but hang in there. Keith is one of those dopey guys that looks like a monkey (about 6'7", long arms, hunched shoulders, horselike face, walks with his palms facing back), he has no common sense and pays dangerously little attention to what's going on around him. He also makes it a point to only speak when there's something to bitch about, whether it be the current bundle, work in general, housing costs, twine, or coffee temperatures. He's the weakest link. I'm sorry for the pop culture fopaux but it's true.

I want to kill him.

I spent 5 hours today doing the work of two people on 2 hours of sleep and getting buried in more boards than the two of us could stack at his speed. I worked through my break to clear off the racks just because I didn't want to deal with the avalanche when the machines started up again. That worked for about 10 minutes after break, then we were behind again until about 90 minutes before the end of the shift when I just gave up and stopped trying. I think when we left for the day we were about 9 bundles behind, meaning that if the machine were stopped we could make 9 bundles out of what was on the racks before it was clear. I've never been under 2 bundles behind, even on a hard day.

I want

to

KILL

him.

So that was work. I died on the inside.

Tonight we watched Event Horizon at Ron's and I'd forgotten how cool that flick is. It used to scare the shit out of me in high school. I'm a puss, I know. Suck it.
Speaking of sucking it, we also watched A Dirty Shame, no not the 1994 film "A Low Down Dirty Shame" with Keenan Ivory Wayans, but the more recent sexual cacophony with Tracy Ullman, Johnny Knoxville and Selma Blair. It was.... it was............. I don't know what it was. It was very funny, and very wrong and very creative. It was also the most original way of telling the allegory of Christ that I'd ever seen. But all I could think as I was watching scene after scene of surreal and twisted sexual perversion and constant innuendo was, "Why did they make this movie? How could they make this movie? What's the social market for a movie like this?" You see, movies that question the stiff (heh heh) morals of the conservatives with humor and irony (see: Dogma, Saved) tend to also be films that you can watch with most people of a leftist or moderate mindset. This movie, I'd almost prefer to not watch with anyone, but also not want to watch alone either. It has a message, but it's unclear if the message actually needs to be delivered. It's almost irrelevant irreverent comedy. Still, well done, clever and very funny.

This weekend I begin to pack away all my non-essentials and get rid of some unused furniture. I see myself living out of a duffel bag until I finally get out of here. Hoping that'll be in the next 3-4 weeks. Hooray!

Oh, but hey. I'm really, really tired. So I'm going to drift off to the mellow coma-inducing sounds of Aphex Twin's "Selected Ambient Works Vol. II"

P.S. After the film tonight I'm considering referring to my Johnny as "Pink Steel", I think it will get me an "in" with the ladies. Thoughts?