Blog 91: Sheep Go to Heaven, Blogs Go to Hell

Current Motor: Satan

All esoteric Cake references aside, how's everyone doing? I've noticed a severe drop in reader response in the last few weeks. As my graphs and charts indicate the most comments I've received on a single post is 5, that's my high water mark. Now I don't want to stress you out, my loving and loyal fans, but let's see if we can't break that barrier and aim for the stars! No? Nothing on here is that interesting you say? Well then how about this. If you read a post, even if you have no opinion, input, correspondence, reply or insight into what I posted, JUST SAY HELLO! That's all. I see my hit counter jumping every day and I know people read my largely trivial and vapid musings so goose my ego and make my 2000+ hits seem like they're more than computing errors.

Ok, enough lambasting for one day. On to less important but equally typable agendas.

I got a raise today! For my 45 day review I got $.50 added to my wage and I'm gonna blow that extra $35 or so per check on comic books and bubble gum. No, not really, I don't even read comics. (Sorry Kevin)

In another 45 days or so I'll get another $.50 and then I'll be "ridin' high on the hog" as they say here for some reason. But I'm excited nonetheless.

This Sunday will mark the third time in 4 weeks I've got to Klamath Falls for consuming purposes (both food and supplies) and it gets better every time. That's a lie, it gets the samer every time. Although Lakeview is desolate and socially vampiric, K Falls isn't much more than a scab on the chaffed kneecap of Oregon, while Lakeview is a simple benign mole that the dermatologist deemed unnecessary to remove and now draws only momentary attention from people looking at Oregon's... knee. .... That was a bad analogy. Anyway, all the towns here suck.

I contacted my future roommate contact in Hillsboro, cause that's what you do with contacts. You contact them. By making contact of some sort. Right. And I told him to be on the lookout for sweetass places to live that cost a lot of money to rent. I told him to evict or murder if necessary to procure the residence of our collective dreams. I also told him to look out for any sweetass jobs for me while he's at it. Again, he has permission to use deadly force if need be to get me into a low responsibility, high paying job like Celebrity Laundry Washer or Official Bikini Inspector or something. He cannot fail me. Or I'll give him the choke.