Blog 24: When You Wish Upon A Blog

Greetings once again sports fans. I'm trying desperatly to write but I've come upon a bit of a block in my writing, one could even call it a writer's block. I feel like I have some bad memory jammed in my temple right around the spot where my creativity flows and it's causing back up. I think I know what the memory is but I really don't want to give it cause to mess with me any more than it aleady has. It's about Black Betty I know that. If you're not familiar with Black Betty she's my ex who, although I'm glad to be free from and happy that life is better now, kinda dicked me over in a very damaging way. Now she's shagging this chucklehead that I've never met and for the last about, mmmmmmmmm, 9 months I've been having dreams about her off and on that leave me reaching for the nearest thing to bludgeon myself to death with. Last one happened about a month ago after a week long string of dreams involving or including her in some way. I've been clean of it since then but tonight at Armarna's I found an old college phone directory, or facebook, with pictures of all the people I knew in school. Well I forgot that it was from the year that Black Betty had gone to school at the same college for a term and was really not ready for it when I found her picture in it. It actually had a jarring effect on me, and to think of it I still feel a bit of those old emotions perking up, and seeing all those old pics made me remember those days. All those days I tried so hard to forget, you see? So now, although I'm not dwelling on them and I've managed to force the door closed on that closet full of mental junk, I know my subcon is going to let loose on me tonight. So it's kind of like being one of those killable kids from Nightmare on Elm Street where you know if you fall asleep you'll get ganked, but I'm tired so I guess I'll just have to endure it. Here's to hoping I dream about something boring and emotionally neutral. I need some kind of female placeholder I guess.