Blog 5: The Wizard of Blog

Hello again folks, tonight I'd like to talk to you about my teeth. I have between 5 and 45 teeth, some of them are for tearing, some for grinding and others still for severing or biting off pieces of jerky of licorice. As of late one of my teeth has been giving me problems in the form of pain and deterioration. To put it bluntly, it has a hole in it that I can stick most of my tongue into, and there's a nerve inside that would have preferred to have never seen the light of day, and it's pissed. Or rather it was pissed until I brushed it and cleaned it's burrow and it died. So not the tooth doesn't hurt, but it's going to either turn dark or fall out which will make me 51% more attractive to the ladies. As if noodle arms, love handles, nose hair and pasty white skin weren't driving them wild enough. Maybe I'll opt for one of those fancy gold or platinum teeth with a diamond in it like one of those rap guys, or one of their girlfriends with the big butts. (Get it?) You may ask, "Why not go to a dentist person?" To answer, "They want to be paid in money, not sexual favors." To deviate: Tomorrow I'm going to go to work and there will be no work for me to do, I finished all my orders earlier today and now there's nothing for me to do until at least noon, and I start at 7am, meaning that I have to get up at 6 if I want to be clean, meaning that I'm getting up roughly 6 hours early to go sit at my desk and think about random things like what my brains would look like spread on the wall in front of me. You know, everyday stuff. Ho hum.